Final Destination

Don’t misunderstanding, I am not going to talk about the movie!

Finally, it is my last semester in university and it started yesterday.

I think it may be the last longest break in my life which starts from the first day of Chinese New Year as I am going to turn to working life upon my graduation.

I need the money!!!

I am quite busy last week.

I accompanied my mum to go for a medical check-up in a private hospital that was recommended by one of her friends.

The reason is my mum always complaint that her left thigh and calf will become numb and pain after she walks a short distance.

In short, the result is not that welcoming as my mum needs to undergo a surgery in order to totally cure the illness.

It cannot be cured by taking the medicine orally or by injection anymore.

Then, it comes to the MONEY issue again.

In fact, my mum does go to the government hospital for treatments but the doctor just prescribe a simple medical treatment for her as they claim that she still can walk and do her daily works.

WTH!!!

I am still waiting the detailed medical report from the second medical check-up of my mum  as it will determined the cost of the operation.

It involves a surgery on my mum’s veterbral as the pain and numb is due to the deformation of the main nerve that runs through the spinal cord.

Normally, it is caused by aging of human’s body.

It will cost around 10K if my mum’s physical backbones fitness is good.

If the situation is not that expected, it will cost around 40K.

Sometimes, I just feel better to stay in my hostel.

I can just keep my mind off those problems from my mind and focus on my study.

Feel guilty now.

I love my mum and my family so much until I don’t know how to tell them that I am depressed with all the problems.

It seems like I have double personality which I pretend to be very happy and joyful once I am with my family and my mind will turn negatively and always push myself to the limit when I am alone.

Besides, my mind will automatically switch to the fact that it is my responsibility to work really hard now in order for me to be able to take good care of my family in future.

I really need someone to talk to.

It seems like I am out of the topic =.=′′

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PS: Run away to Singapore alone on last Saturday for Singapore Airshow 2012. I feel quite disappointed by the variation of aircrafts that being displayed as they are different as promised by the authorities. Boeing 787 and Jackie’s Chan private business jet are not on static display during the day of airshow that open for publics. Haiz… …

Kyan

MV

Just come across this MV.

Damn funny.

Super Junior - Gee

Cheers... ...

Kyan

Wait, Not Time yet :(

Hope the worst thing that I worry from day to day will not happen.

Please donn't be mean to me at this time.

I need more time to recover the last wound.

Mum, please give me some time.

Please, please, please

I am not ready yet.

Mum, I  love you.

Kyan

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Note: Sorry for the emo posts lately. Only can "Telan" all the matters that I encounter and hope I can "Digest" them well.

Better in Time

Better In Time

By: Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter

without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Going ,Coming

Thought I heard a knock

Thinking that (I deserve it)

Now I have realised

that I really didn't knooOooOw

If you didn't notice

You mean everything

(quickly I'm learning)

To love again (all i know is)

I'm be oooOook

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's going to hurt when it heals too

Oh yeaah

(It'll All get better in time)

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile because i deserve too

Oooh(It'll all get better in time)

I couldn’t turned on the TV

Without something that would

remind me

Was it all that easy?

To just put us out your feeling

If I'm dreamin

Don't want to let it

(hurt my feelings)

But that's the past (I believe it)

And I know that, time will heal it

If you didn't notice

Well you mean everything

(quickly i'm learning)

Oooh turn up again (All i know is)

I'm be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

Oooh yeah

(It'll all get better in time)

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile

because I deserve too ooh

(It'll all get better in time)

Since there's no more you and me

(No more you and me)

This time I let you go

so I can be free

And Live my life how it should be

(No No No No No No)

No matter how hard it is

I will be fine without you

Yes I Will

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

Oooh(It'll all get better in time)

Even though I really loved you

I'm gonna smile

cos I deserve too yes i do

(It'll all get better in time)

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

yeaaaah Ooooh oooooh

(It'll all get better in time)

Even though i really loved you

Going to smile

cos I deserve too Ooooooh

Love this song so much lately.

Specially dedicated this song to TULS. Hehe... ...
Donn't know why the first thing that I think of when I listen to this song is TULS's love story posts.

Cheers... ...
Kyan

Depression

Feel like I have nothing that really belongs to me.

Wallet, Clothes, Handphone – Inherit from my brother

Analog Watch – RM 10 (gift from my brother)

Digital Watch – Priceless (From my Uncle “garang guni store”, hahaha… …)

Do I spell the word “garang guni” right?

I know that I come from a middle income family and I cannot hope much from my family.

Now, my family is solely supported by my brother.

Sometimes, it really depressed me when I notice others are having branded handphone, watch, wallet and etc.

Perasan pulak. 

They are lucky to have a family with good financial background.

Please appreciate it!!!  That is what I always remind my friend who is a “大少爷-Young Master”

Besides, is it that is the reason why I always work so hard in order to gain what I want?

I think so, those motivate me to work harder and harder in order to change my life.

Am I realistic?

I donn’t know.

I just know that my life only can become better if I work hard.

Is it true?

I went to visit my uncle who lives in an old folk home yesterday.

It already becomes a routine for me and my brother to pay him a visit when one of us is free.

It is our responsibility to take care of him after my father’s death.

He didn’t have any relatives except me and my family.

He is alone.

He didn’t marry.

Again, the situation makes me feel depression.

Now, it comes to a sensitive question for all PLUs.

Am I going to be like him in future?

Is it that is the reason why I always work so hard in order to avoid the above situation?

Again, I donn’t know.

However, there is one thing that I am so sure is all the above link to a word “MONEY”

Maybe, that is the only thing that gives me the motivation.

Haiz… …

Am I thinking too much?

It is a truth that I am much stronger, particular and sensitive than before after the event struck me.

Is it a good thing?

It already passes one year.

Time can heal everything.

Besides, I donn't know why the pictures below always give me the clear direction on what I want when I am lost.

Note: I apologize if u guys feel stress and depressed after reading my post.

Cheers… …

Kyan

Late Coming New Year's Resolutions

Already one month passes for year 2012 and the Lunar Chinese New Year is gonna finish soon as well.

I know it is an important year for me.

I am going to graduate from University.

A brand new life is waiting for me.

Am I going to work in Malaysia or Singapore?

During new year, I know lots of you will sure kena questions from your relatives likes

“Where is your girlfriend?”

“When do you want to get married?”

“When you want to give ang pows?”

However, they never ask me those questions.  Hehe… …

It may due to my outlook which looks like a bookworm although yes I am.

Wearing a pair of thick glasses with black coloured frame

Kind and honest looking face (According to my mother)

“暴牙” >.<

It may sound a bit serious for the question that I kena this year.

Below is the question of the year from my relatives during the new year’s gathering:

“源， 要毕业了呀。 打算去哪里找工作？新加坡？”

“Yan, going to graduate ah.  Where you gonna work? Singapore?”

Then, below are the summary of the conversations between me and my relative likes my cousins and aunties.

“阿，应该是KL吧”

“Erm, I think is KL”

“为什么？新加坡比较好啦， 钱比较大， 比较赚得有”

“Why? Singapore is better, the currency is higher and you can earn more money there.”

“阿， 因为我想在Malaysia考到license, 然后为Malaysia服务。毕竟这一行在Malaysia不是很发达。Singapore已经很发达了。”

“Because I would like to get my License Aircraft Engineer (LAE) in Malaysia and serve for Malaysia as this field is still not well developed as Singapore in Malaysia.”

Speechless, right =.=

It seems like I am so patriotic ho.  Haha… …

Like out of topic already.

Below are my New Year’s Resolutions:

1.        Graduate with first class degree.

2.        Get a good job and good company in Malaysia which can help me to achieve the goal.  (According to Chinese zodiac prediction, it is a good year for those who born during the year of snake, lots of “贵人”will help them.)

3.        Give enough support financially and mentally to my family.  (Need to lighten my brother’s burden)

4.        Do orthodontic if financial allow.

5.        Built up my body.  (Although it seems quite difficult, need to give it a try)

6.        Finally, get a boyfriend or at least one or two plu’s friends.  (The hardest task as it kena my weakest part which is to interact and social with peoples)

Belated New Year’s blessing:

“Happy Chinese New Year, huat 啊！”

Cheers… …

Kyan